At what age can a teen decide?????

I am a stepdad. My stepkids do not want to be "made" to go over to their dad's anymore. They are 13 and 14. Can someone tell me at what age, if at all, they can make the decision on whether or not to go to their dad's?

18.

They can't. Dad is entitled to see his kids. There could be various reasons and most are not good enough to stop visits. Mom can be held in contempt. Maybe she should talk to Dad about why the kids are reluctant to go over there.

It's a court order, not a court suggestion. Kids have to abide by court orders, just like adults.

They can express a preference to the judge but the judge decides. Until the order is changed, kids abide by the order.

The child doesn't get to decide where he or she goes. That is determined by their parents. If there is a custody and visitation order in place, the parents are bound by that order until changed. In some states, there will be an age at which the child may express a preference to the court when the issue of visitation is before it, but that preference does not control the outcome. Not knowing what state has jurisdiction over the custody and visitation orders, it is not possible to say at what age the court would consider the kids' preferences here.

LynnM:

It's a court order, not a court suggestion. Kids have to abide by court orders, just like adults.

Yes, kids have to abide by court orders that are directed to them. However, in a vistation order, the order is directed to the parents since they were the parties before the court, not the kids. While the kids are not bound by the order, they nevertheless are subject to the control of their parents and must do as their parents require.

Of course. I was just trying to make the point that, despite what many people seem to believe, kids do not get to make choices that contradict court orders.

I'm in no way a lawyer OR legal advice for you. BUT I was the child in this situation. My situation went all the way to adoption by my step-father. That was when I was 13. I would really recommend speaking to a local attorney, informing them of your childrens wishes, or rather have the children inform the lawyer, Because if it does have a chance in court in your state. The judge WILL ask them why, when, what, and how of all of it. If there story doesn't stand or they break down and cry, say mommy made me. You two will look like the worst parents ever and could in effect lose primary custody.

But I just wanted to say, at 13, the judge asked me what I wanted and granted it. Some judges do take into effect what children want, as long as the reasoning is not, daddy won't let me do this or that.  

Hope this helps.

I agree..in some states, I was made aware that a Judge can take into consideration the thoughts and feelings of the child who is made to have visitation with a parent whom that child wishes not to see for certain reasons of their own.  As long as it comes from the child and not the parent who has custodial custody. 

The age of a child is different in each state, some states, it's 13yrs of age that a child may be given an opportunity have a voice with regard to visitation.

iam sorry but those other answers are wrong my mom and step dad just went through this a year or so back i think my step brother was like 14 he came to visit his dad and his mom let him she came back to get him and he told her he didn't want to go well she told him he was and grabbed him my the arm wel my step dad went out and my mom called the cops the cop came and asked my step brother who he wanted to stay with and he said his dad and the cop looked at the mother and said please leave or i'll lock u up for trespassing from what i HEAR as long as the child can speak plain english and can understand what they are saying it counts but i would call a policeman and ask him they know about that i know that happen in perquimans County in NC iam in Cabarrus now but i know that goes for the whole state

The police response was to prevent a physical fight--but it was not the correct answer as to what the order required of the parties.

The order stands as written until/unless somebody gets it changed.  And if one parent sides with kid and abets violation of the order that parent could get time in cooler for contempt  or interference or some lesser sanctions--and a kid who refused to do as directed could get charged with a form of truancy.

there was no physical fight in the state of North Carolina it is a law i know this cause my step dad went through it if the child is in good mental state and can understand what he/she is saying is what stands all laws are different in every state i dont know how they are in PA but we go legal advice from someone in nc like i said all laws are different in every state just like i bet u didn't know in the state of north Carolina by law u can take your wife on SUNDAYS to a court house steps and beat ehr for a short time it is a law look it up no joke....

While there are antiquated laws that are still on the books the odds of what you just posting actually happening is somewheer between slim and none. If an officer sees someone assulting a person you can probabaly bet the abuser will go to the jail no matter what.

As far as a child determining where they want to live you if you can post a link to the LAW that states that a child can determine where they want to live as long as they speak clear english that would go more towards proving your point. Remember that a police officer is NOT a lawyer or a judge and they are there to keep the peace.

As Drew said the officer was there to avoid conflict but that does NOT mean that the dad now gets to keep the child. If the mother wanted to enforce the court order all she has to do is drag the father into court where he coudl be held in contempt.

If every child was allowed to live with the parent they wanted they would go with the one who let them stay up late at night, didn't force tehm to do their homework, let them play on the computer all day, etc... The court usually does what is best for the child not what the child wants.

I can guarantee that is NOT the law.  Police intervention isn't the same as court intervention, and no judge will allow a custodial parent to hide behind the wishes of the child.

Cops are NOT lawyers.  A parent cannot violate the law in taking custody of a child.  That's a completely different problem.  The mother attempting to take the child cannot trespass, but the father would be subject to the authority of the court for not following the visitation order.

Doesn't mean it is the right answer.

All Mom had to do was go back to court and the judge would have ordered the child returned to the custodial parent. Just because something is not a police matter does not mean you can do whatever you want.