Relocate to New Zealand

I want to move me and my daughter to New Zealand next year.  I am not trying to prevent my daughter from seeing her father at all.  I just feel like this country and this current place we live is not good.  I want my daughter to have a good, healthy life, and I want to be able to provide her with everything and for her to have the opportunities to do anything she wants to.  New Zealand ranks as the #1 most safest and peaceful places to live, it's education system is ranked 7th in the world, they have less pollution, longer lifespan, 99% literacy rate, and an overall better quality of life than the United states has to offer. The area we live in now, particularly, the school district that her father lives in has a 50% graduation rate, with only 45% going to college, the particular towns have many kids that are in gangs, do drugs, drop out of high school, or not go to college, and I think if she attended school in here, she would have less of a chance of succeeding.  I know it has to do with my parenting as well, but teenages are also influenced by their surroundings greatly. And I want my daughter to receive the best education possible, and the United States is not at the top of the list in this area.  Our education system is below average and, quite frankly, rather shitty, compared to other parts of the world. Not only that, but my specific area of work receives much more pay and the living costs is a little less than the States as well.  I know I have to show that the move would be in the best interests in the child, and provide a better quality of life for me and my family.  I just want to know if all of that information is considered a better quality of life for my child.  I would not limit her from seeing her father.  We would use a video skype chat whenever, and I would fly her back to the United States on all breaks which adds up to about 5-6 months of time spread out over the year. Our time is currently split 50/50. Would it be impossible for me to get this approved? Our child custody history only shows him breaking all orders, disappearing due to drugs, etc, and I was the one who forced the 50/50 weekly split. I really want to move me and my daughter to New Zealand because of the better environment, and the educational and financial opportunities that presents to us.  I just want to make sure I have a strong enough case to prove that this is going to provide my daughter with the best quality of life possible. Which I do believe it is.  

Thoughts? 

Auskerry:

Would it be impossible for me to get this approved?

Probably.  Courts rarely if ever approve allowing a child to move overseas outside the jurisdiction of the court.  

Auskerry:

I want my daughter to receive the best education possible, and the United States is not at the top of the list in this area.

Rubbish.  There are PLENTY of wonderful school districts in the USA that give outstanding educations both public and private.  That argument will NOT hold water with the court.

Auskerry:

The area we live in now, particularly, the school district that her father lives in has a 50% graduation rate, with only 45% going to college, the particular towns have many kids that are in gangs, do drugs, drop out of high school, or not go to college, and I think if she attended school in here, she would have less of a chance of succeeding.

Moving her to a country and a culture she has no connection to away from family and friends doesn't guarantee her success either.  You know no one there, you have no job, no family and no basis of support.  Living in another country is not near as easy as you make it sound and traveling back and forth in a long distance relationship with her father is going to stress her out more than you realize and the court will not endorse that.

Auskerry:

Not only that, but my specific area of work receives much more pay and the living costs is a little less than the States as well.

That is assuming that you could get NZ to approve both of your emmigrating there as well.  Often in difficult economic times you would need to demonstrate having significant economic reserves before they would approve the application.

Auskerry:

Thoughts?

Don't plan on the court sanctioning this.

But even If I move over to new zealand without my daughter initially, there still has to be some type of custody agreement that allows her to visit me during summer vacation and holiday's, so isn't that same thing? 

And I do not plan to go there without anything, I will have everything situated before hand (job, housing, her school, etc) and I have a close friend living there who will be there for us if we need it initially.  But regardless of that stuff, If my daughter lives with her daughter and attends school in America, I will still have to make a new custody arrangement with him so that she with me for a certain amount of months of the year? I just don't understand how that is any different from the other way around.  she would still be living in two different places for half the year.  And how do other people get this kinda stuff approved?  I have been reading some things about people moving to Europe and having a 50/50 split with their ex's in the states. 

Auskerry:

But even If I move over to new zealand without my daughter initially, there still has to be some type of custody agreement that allows her to visit me during summer vacation and holiday's, so isn't that same thing?

No.  If YOU want to move overseas the court doesn't care.  Parents move out of state and to other jurisdictions ALL the time they just can't move the kids.  Taking the CHILD outside the jurisdiction of the court is a whole different matter.  Once they want to move the kids they often find they have a MAJOR uphill battle proving to the court taking the kids away from the non-custodial parent is in the child's best interest.

Auskerry:

I just don't understand how that is any different from the other way around.  she would still be living in two different places for half the year.  And how do other people get this kinda stuff approved?

I didn't say it was IMPOSSIBLE just that the odds were stacked heavily against you.  If your ex protests and is against it you can be almost certain the court will not approve it regardless of how poor of a parent he is.  

Typically the non-custodial parent is supportive of the move and agrees or is not in the picture and does not contest the move and that is how it gets approved.  If the non-custodial parent is the least little bit involved in the child's life no matter how unskilled they are and they object to the child moving to a foreign country you can pretty much expect the court to deny the petition to move overseas.  Also, those move are generally temporary moves such as for military assignment.  You are talking about a permanent move.  The court will not want the child outside it's control because if you don't uphold your end of the deal you are outside it's jurisdiction and Dad has to fight you on an international front.  

You are free to move to NZ.

But to even get a passport for your child will require Dads written permission or a court order --amd you better well be prepared to pay the air costs and be current on your payments of CS is any.

The courts may give you permission to move 2 states away IF you can really show its for benefit of child  and perhaps you have a much better job there and can provide much better for child etc.

But you probably face a bing uphill battle IF Dad choses to resist, for court pwermission to move outside USA--and major costs to get child or dad back and forth for visits.

Now some might suggest to move away with child first--and beg forgivness later--but unless you hit the lottery  and have a super lawyer I think thats unwise and too risky..... ...

So where in PA are the schools all that bad--Chester?

Hey, you may think Phila is bad but if your child is good enough to get into Masterman  (on Spring Garden St )--that education experience may exceed that of many of nations better prep schools  and give good odds to get in to a top college

It is in delaware county. UDHS.  However, I am talking about the educational ranking of the United States as a whole. New Zealand is ranked 7th in the world. I do believe that the united states is ranked 30th. Believe it or not, we are sub par on the educational stand front. And the environment around this area just is not good. There is so much crime, hate, pollution, and negativity that could influence my kid. 

The problem is, is that his intentions are always in spite of me.  Our current arrangement was forced upon him by me because he either didn't want to have her during his time, dropped her off early, picked her up late, illegally changed the arrangement to every other week etc. He has been bitter towards me since we broke up 4 years ago, even though he has been in a long term relationship.  I am hoping that him now being able to marry to her (our divorce was just finalized) will alleviate some of the tension (we have had many altercations because he would get at me for dating, or some other type of ***).  I would really like my child to move with me and attend school there, and because they attend school all year, they receive monthly breaks every few months and then two months in the winter, which I would be happy to send her back here for. So in reality, she would be frequently visiting (3-4x per year) I mean thats what child support would be for right? Her airfare every couple of months to her dad.  I, in no way, want to keep her from her father, I just feel strongly that the opportunities, environment, culture, economy, ect is the type of place I would like to my daughter to be exposed to as well. She is 4 by the way. I guess age is important in this type of thing. 

Drew:

Now some might suggest to move away with child first

Moving outside the USA with the child without the courts permission is called custodial interference at best and international kidnapping at worst.  This is the WORST idea possible.  Best case scenario is the OP loses custody permanently and has supervised visitation if any at all and worst case scenario is she ends up in prison for kidnapping the child and is deported from NZ.  NOT worth the risk.  Honestly Drew I don't know why you suggest such things.

I am actually the mother of the child in question, and I would never break the law.  I know that it is considered kidnapping. I must also mention, that I am a free spirited person, and believe that no one should be grounded to where they are. Everyone should have the opportunity to do what is best for them and their family. If my ex had decided to move to Iceland tomorrow, I would support him in every aspect of his decision, and if he presented me with the best opportunities available, I would allow my daughter to live with him because I am not a spiteful person. Everyone should have an opportunity to better themselves, their living situation, and their family. So long as he was not trying to keep her from me. As long as there were arrangements for her to see me as equallly as she is with him, regardless if this is every other day, every other week, or every three months. Technology has provided us with great ways of communicating. My issue is that his battle would be spiteful. Is there a way to prove that his intentions are spiteful? Because I have a laundry list of spiteful implications, as well his felony record, and destruction of property. 

Auskerry:

he either didn't want to have her during his time, dropped her off early, picked her up late, illegally changed the arrangement to every other week etc.

NONE of that will get you approved to move to New Zealand.  He doesn't have to meet your parenting standards. He doesn't have to be the best parent in the world.  He doesn't have to parent on a regular basis.  The parenting standard is so low you could trip over it.  All he has to do is try and the court will not approve moving a child as young as 4 to a foreign country.

Auskerry:

because they attend school all year, they receive monthly breaks every few months and then two months in the winter, which I would be happy to send her back here for.

There are plenty of school districts here that have balanced calendars that argument will NOT hold up in court to justify a move outside the country.

Auskerry:

I mean thats what child support would be for right?

NO.  As the parent moving YOU and YOU alone will be responsible for all travel expenses for her to return to the USA to see her father.  

Auskerry:

She is 4 by the way. I guess age is important in this type of thing.

More than you realize.  It will be EIGHT full years before she can fly unaccompanied minor on any airline (possibly more on an international flight) so that means TWO tickets for an adult to accompany her back to the USA for visitation.  

Auskerry:

I just feel strongly that the opportunities, environment, culture, economy, ect is the type of place I would like to my daughter to be exposed to as well.

The court will not agree if it is as the expense of a toddler's developing relationship with her father.  Especially since this is not her culture, national origin, or environment.  It is YOUR desire to move.  I doubt the court is going to grant your motion.

Actually, at the age of 5, she can fly alone on a flight with the program.  I would be happy to fly her to california or wherever the connecting flight is. And then return there to meet her.  As I said before, the salaries for individuals in my field are far higher than in the US. I'd be able to afford the airfare. 

Auskerry:

I must also mention, that I am a free spirited person, and believe that no one should be grounded to where they are. Everyone should have the opportunity to do what is best for them and their family.

Which is wonderful and all willing and great.  But the court is not going to let you uproot and disrupt the relationship between your daughter and her father everytime you get a wild hair up your skirts and decide the wind is blowing you to another horizon.  YOU are free to be as free a spirit as you want.  The court expects your child to be grounded in a specific location until age 18 for the continuity of care and maintenance of relationships with BOTH parents.  

Auskerry:

My issue is that his battle would be spiteful. Is there a way to prove that his intentions are spiteful?

DOESN'T matter.  He is legally entitled to a relationship with his child.  If he objects to the motion and you cannot prove that the move to NZ is in the child's best interests over his relationship with her, the court will not approve it.  PERIOD.

So far NONE of what you posted here appearsto have the weight like it would sway a family court judge.  

Auskerry:

Actually, at the age of 5, she can fly alone on a flight with the program.  I would be happy to fly her to california or wherever the connecting flight is.

Actually she can't.  If there is a connecting flight involved she has to be at least 12 and depending on the airline 15.  No airline allows minors under the age of 15 internationally to take flights with connections unacommpanied.  

Unless you can find a direct flight from NZ to Dad in PA she can't fly unaccompanied minor at 5.  Plus there is a surcharge of $100 each way adding a signifcant cost to the ticket.  

If you read correctly, I said I would be happy to fly with her to california, and she can fly from California to PA, 

Pardon my 2 cents, but you aren't going to convince anybody here that moving to NZ is anything but for your own selfish interests and to get one over on your ex.

So, if you want to do it, go pay a lawyer a barrelful of money and petition the court. Good luck with that.