Young and need advice (Child Custody)

First off i'd like to explain a little about the situation I'm currently in, the plan I have to fix it, and the reason I feel the way i do.

I (19 yrs of age) was in a relationship with a lady (18 yrs of age) and not to long ago I had found out that a baby is going to be in the mix. So here I am, just out of 2 years of college, living with my mother and brother (in not the best of neighborhood), currently unemployed after my 4th job fell threw and an unexpected baby is about to come into my life. I couldn't be more excited and, as most of you understand, the thoughts running through my head lately are endless.

The issue I'm having isn't the fact that I'm about to have a child at a young age in not the best of situations, but the thoughts and issues arising in the mind of the mother. I have done what I can to take her to appointments, be there for her whenever she wants or needs, whatever the situation calls for I'm there for the greater good. Yet she has come to the conclusion that I'm as unfit of a father as there could ever be, the current home I occupy and family members I have aren't suited well for a child, and that nothing is going to change by the time the baby comes. Not only have I been excluded from almost every decision there is to make, but the threat of her moving while shes pregnant to take the baby away from me has even come up. Even the "I'm not going to have you on the birth certificate" has come up.

I'm not afraid of what she will and will not do, but because of the situation I have had to think long and hard of every possibility. She is a very motivated and self driven person and will do anything it takes when the occasion calls for it, and I feel like in her eyes theres no better occasion than for her baby to be raised how she wants. This and only this is what scares me.

At the moment I'm just about at ground zero. No money, car, home, job, or any means of supporting a child on my own. Even though I vowed to myself I'd never join the military, my plan is to go to the national guard, take the money from that to get in a more stable, reasonable living situation for me and the child, once out work part time and finish school with the extra help and stability the military can offer me. Basically I want to be seen as a god in the eyes of the mother, myself, the courts, and more importantly, my child by the time the baby comes so I have a foot up with everyone. And if it does have to come down to a custody battle I want to be sure I am able to have some fighting chance, especially since from everything I've heard "washington is a mother's state".

The girl has been legally emancipated, married, divorced and has a deep and dark past to her childhood, and because of this i feel she is trying to shade her child to be from the possibilities that daddy might be another deadbeatthat doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself. And because of this I feel she's ignored the overall picture of whats best for the child. She herself didn't meet her father until she was 15 and told stories of how lost and lonely she felt sometimes, and how she felt like her dad not being there was her fault.

So what i want to know is, if a bright minded, rational, reasonable, loving, caring, educated, non criminal who is involved in the military, living in his own apartment with nothing but the childs best interest at hand went to court for joint custody against a younger, less educated, ex criminal, high school dropout, whos been emancipated, married, and divorced all before the age of 18, has no job history and lives with her parents, with nothing but the interest of herself fincancially, what are the chances I would have an equal part of my childs life as she does. Or at least have reasonable visitation rights.

One possibility you should consider is that you may not be the father.  This could be why mom is trying to push you away from being involved once the baby is born.  With the background you've provided on mom, it sounds as if she is a likely candidate for needing state assistance at some point.  If this occurs, the state will likely come to you for child support.  Washington does not appear to have a putative father's registry from what I could tell in a quick google search, but there is a way for you to claim paternity.  Were I in your shoes, I would contact the CS agency to see if they would do paternity testing as a part of establishment of a CS order.  If they do, you can figure out when the anticipated due date is and try to keep track of mom enough to know when she's had the baby, then file to establish paternity and, if the child proves to be yours, then you could establish CS, and go for establishment of shared custody (legal and/or physical) as well as visitation.

You will get visitation if you ask for it.

Do NOT assume you are the father.  You want DNA testing.  By your own admission this girl is a little messed up.  You cannot KNOW you are the father unless you kept her locked in your basement.

There are no such things as "mother states."  Mothers usually end up with custody because they are the primary caregivers and usually keep possession of the children during pending court actions.  Both of those create presumptions in their favor.  Single mothers get a greater benefit because the unmarried father normally has no rights at all until a court determines paternity months down the road.

LuckyMe1223:

went to court for joint custody against a younger, less educated, ex criminal, high school dropout, whos been emancipated, married, and divorced all before the age of 18, has no job history and lives with her parents

Not a good argument.  You knew all those things about her and were having sex with her.  You accepted her with all her warts and the system normally won't allow you to use those things as ammunition now.